Victims of Rape, should never be believed on their word. Rape Culture is a Myth

I cannot believe I have to write this over and over.   People just don’t get it.    In North America we do not have a rape culture.   We have the opposite of one.   No one promotes the idea of rape, no one actively fights for the right to rape, there is no cabal of people plotting rapes.

No.   In North america rape by the stats is pretty fucking rare.   In the United States it happens to less  than a percent of women.   In Canada it is less.

We vilify people who are only accused of rape.  Let alone convicted of the crime.    A person’s life, reputation and career can be destroyed by an unverified accusation.    Look at what happened to Mr. Gnomeshi.   He was accused.   Not even charged, and his employer fired him, he was vilified in the media and when it came to the trial it turned out that the  women had lied, to police, to the public and to the court.  Even today, there are frothing at the mouth liberals who believe he was guilty.

The same people who refuse to look at evidence, are the same people who want to remove your rights.   They hate men.   They hate white men in particular.    They don’t care if the women lie to get attention.   In their eyes, women are right, the victim (if she is a woman) should always believed.   And that Men’s right’s are laughable.

Victims of Rape, should never be believed on their word.  Especially those that gain media fame.  The majority of famous rape cases turned out to be false claims.   Not all, but most.  And as such, the men have every right to be believed innocent until proven in a court of law by Habeous Corpus.  (Evidence).      No evidence, no crime.

The rape stats the media trots out like candy each time there is a discussion on rape is a fairy tale.   One in Six is blatantly a lie, as it matches the rape stats of a war torn country.   Even on Christmas eve in Germany are the numbers not that high.   Or in Denmark, the rape capitol of the world.   The numbers still don’t reach One in Six.

Places like Islamic nations are full of rape and unfortunately they don’t keep those numbers because in many of those countries they don’t think a woman has a right to deny sex to a man so it can’t be rape.

Yet the women in western culture think that there is.    Grow up Libs.  Rape culture is a myth.   And no I don’t believe you were raped.

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D&G advertisement – How they are promoting a myth of Rape Culture.

Dolce-Gabbana-Fashion-Wallpapers-3-Wallpaper

I have been seeing outrage over this advertisement by D&G today.  Articles, arguments and controversy.  It all stemmed from a statement by the fashion duo that stated that IVF children are synthetic children and the only people that should have children are a man and woman.      So the outrage poured in, and the media was flooded with everyone putting their two cents in.  Then, today I saw outrage at the advertisement above and articles citing that this promotes rape.   So because of this statement from the douche duo of the fashion world, they and their brand are under a microscope, and every little thing wrong is pointed out, even perceived wrongs that don’t exist like the photo above.

Now I understand the topic of rape is an emotional one and, anyone who has suffered through rape will automatically go to dark places based on their experiences and assume the worst.  This is simply because their mind had a traumatic experience and their thought processes are on survival.   So as a result, the people who are overly sensitive to the topic will go to the worst scenario on seeing something like this.

I however, see some problems with this.   I don’t see this at all as promoting rape.  I see five bored gay male models and one equally bored woman.   A person who is being raped, is anything but bored looking but has a look of abject terror or fear.   I see none of this in the image.

Other people have stated that this promotes a “gang-bang” and this is supposed to be wrong.   I disagree.  If all participants are there of their on free will, and consent to the activities in the gang-bang then there is nothing wrong with it.   I got angry comments on that statement from many.

In the gay community did we not fight for years for our rights to be recognized to do as we wish in the bedroom with other adults as long as it was consensual?  I asked a friend who is also gay, and he decried this was morally wrong.  Gang-Bangs are wrong! He said in the comments on his post against this ad.   I asked him, how is it wrong if everyone is adults and consenting?    “It just is”.   And my favorite answer, “because the majority said so”.

I always love the argument that the majority has the moral right to decide what I can and cannot do in the bedroom.   Regardless of the fact it hurts no one, it’s still wrong.   And that was his stance.    Then in private, he told me that in school when he was learning advertising (He owns a media company), he stated that if even one person is offended the ad should be pulled.   I thought to myself, “You really believe companies that pay thousands upon thousands, even millions in advertisements will pull entire ads because one single person gets offended?”     That is a huge no.   It takes a huge public outcry for any company to even consider removing an advertisement or stopping an ad campaign.

And of course the myth came up over and over. I’ve discussed this myth at length before and will say it everytime.  There is no group of people, who actively say rape is good.  The men in general believe rape is wrong.   It’s only the severely screwed up people in the world who rape both men and women.

Next is another advertisement from the same fashion house.
dg-dolce-gabbana-fw-0708-4-small-77577

As you can see by the image, if I was to go directly to a deep dark place, I could assume this depicted men being tormented by women and abused verbally if not psychically.   I posted this image and asked where was the outrage when this was done?  Why are the feminists and their supporters angry about this?     This image is from their 2007 advertising campaign.

Here is another from that same campaign:

Dolce & Gabbana Winter 2007 2  Fashion Wallpaper

Here we see the women again, not only forcing the men to strip, but doing so under a whipping. (Notice the riding crop).

Why are the women not angry at this?   Or why didn’t the world scream at this?   I can answer this.

We are men.  We are the evil of the world.  We may be loving husbands, fathers, caring and supportive, but because we have a penis, then we are bad people in general.  So it’s okay to beat us, humiliate us, accuse us of promoting rape, and sexualizing women.  Even if those women are doing it by consent and full agreement.    It doesn’t matter.    And if your a man and don’t support this myth blindly, then your labeled as a misogynist and are attacked.

I’m tired of being attacked all the time.  For asking questions to further my understanding of the viewpoints of others.  I’m tired of being attacked for sharing my viewpoint or even just saying “I just don’t see it”.   I’m tired of being attacked for no good reason other than the fact I have my sexual organs on the outside of my body.

Here is another image that didn’t conjure outrage from the feminists either:

D&Gadman

So here is an image that has five men.  One is naked on the floor with his eyes closed and the others are either dressing or undressing.   If you go to that bad dark place and assume the worst, you could say that the guy was drugged and is about to be raped.   Or you could assume like I do this is just an image of the after the fact of a gay gang-bang.   Which happens a lot in the gay community, so do orgies, and group sex of many types and fetishes.   Including men in suits like the one above.

So, assuming this is wrong.  Where was the outrage, from the gay community and the feminists?   There wasn’t, or at least if there was, it was less than a peep on the media scope.  After all, it’s just men in the image being sexualized and promoting the gang rape of men.

The hypocrites of the feminists movement are just that. They get angry at the treatment of women they think is unfair even it is by consent but cheer.  Or they get outraged when it’s pointed out that men are abused by both men and women just as much as women are. Like in this billboard advertisement:

equality-canada-billboard

If your actually offended by the above billboard then quite possibly your one of those women who are abusing their spouse/partner.   There are many forms of abuse, and not all of them are sexual.   Many are harmful and don’t leave visible scars.

Emotional abuse.   Many women and men will use emotional attacks to degrade or humiliate you.    Using emotional manipulation to abuse.   Many, many women use this expertly.  I don’t care what gender you are both do this but women by nature have this down to an art form.

Verbal abuse.  Similar to emotional abuse Verbal is usually direct attacks on a person like name calling or degradation.    If a man does this he is attacked by others for doing it.  If a woman does it to a man, in public even, there is laughter at the “poor guys” suffering and women cheering on their gender on.

Violence.    Slapping, hitting, or any kind of physical attack can be considered this.    However, if a woman attacks a man, it’s considered okay in mainstream society.  After all a women can do no wrong.

Sexual abuse – This is actually quite common.  You think men are the only ones who sexually assault?  No.  I’ve been slapped on the ass, had by testicles cupped, slapped and even woke up one night to a woman fondling me against my consent.    If I was to report it, the police wouldn’t do anything.

Rape – Rape is defined as the act of penetration of the body.    This is not sexual it’s about control.  Men do it to men and now women are doing it to men.   Again, it goes unreported or treated like rape because simply, a man should be able to fight off their attacker since they are a man.

This is all garbage and the women and their supporters who think men are the root of all evil are just plain stupid.  Women are just as much to blame for things as men are.   So get off your high horses ladies and move into reality.

And before anyone assumes anything, just for disclosure.  I’ve been the target of two attempted rapes in my life, had been in abusive relationships with men and have been abused by women who I once called friends.   So I’m quite experienced personally with this topic.  And I choose not to be a victim or let this define my life.

The myth of “rape culture”

For the past couple of years, I have been hearing more and more the words “rape culture”.   I didn’t understand what it meant and to this day, I am not understanding the meaning.   Why?  The meaning is very generalized.  Here is an example, one of many I might add, that no one, and I mean no one has the same definitions.

From Wiki:  (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rape_culture)

Rape culture is a theoretical concept (a qualitative theory) in which rape is pervasive and normalized due to societal attitudes about gender and sexuality.

Behaviors commonly associated with rape culture include victim blaming, sexual objectification, trivializing rape, denial of widespread rape, or refusing to acknowledge the harm of some forms of sexual violence. The notion of rape culture has been used to describe and explain behavior within social groups, including prison rape, and in conflict areas where war rape is used as psychological warfare. Entire societies have been alleged to be rape cultures.

I checked many other groups and websites for their definitions, and they all had very broad descriptions of the meaning or some actually citing mundane activities as being part of this myth.

Some of these activities include, but are not limited to:

Asking a woman on a date.

Offering to buy a woman a drink.

Complimenting or commenting on their clothes, hair, looks.

On my social media profile friends list, I had a model on it, who’s specialty was nude modelling.   She proudly displayed each and every image that was taken of her on the social media site.  As a professional photographer, I saw the images for their artistic beauty and didn’t think about them.   This past couple of weeks, a guy on her friend’s list, had made a comment that was inappropriate and rude.   He was basically telling her (in a douche way) that he thought she was hot and wouldn’t mind hooking up with her.

She turned him down, in a very spectacular fashion, and then blocked him.    This I felt should have been the end of it.   Instead, she went on a rant, and drew many people in.  All agreeing with her and talking about rape culture and some like myself didn’t see it that way and said so, and in response they attacked those people and accused them of being part of the problem etc, etc etc.

At one point I had to make a comment, that was both a message to the model and as well to the people commenting.    I stated that while I didn’t feel the guy’s comment was appropriate, I didn’t think her 2 week rant was either.    This prompted attacks from others to me.   Yet when I asked straight forwards questions using logic and critical thinking, I would not get a response but attacks and name calling.

This is what I basically said:

To (Model Name), while I appreciate your work for it’s artistic value, I do find these kinds of rants to be counter-productive and a tad unprofessional.   Here is why, in this world you get many types of people, and some not all, are going to misstep in life.  They will say the wrong thing, do the wrong thing etc.   In this guy’s case, he was arrogant and said something that you weren’t open to.    You stated that just because your a nude model, doesn’t mean you want to sleep with every male out there, and I agree with you on that.   However, you didn’t just block him and ended it.  You went on a week long rant, and drew more and more people into this so horrible victimization of you.   There was no victimization, there was a guy who was a douche, who said something inappropriate.  Now the problem I am having and finding unprofessional is the fact you are omitting your part in this.   You chose to be a nude model.   That was your choice.  You chose to post those images on a social media site publicly.  That was also your choice.    Now while I understand that is not an invitation, there are some people out in the world who have no sense of decorum or decency.  This is not me saying I approve, this is just me stating a fact.   These people exist.  And when you post anything, they will come out and say something, that someone will find inappropriate.   When it comes to social media you can do several things, you can ignore it, delete it, or block the person.   You did this.  You blocked him.

You are not a victim.  You blocked him.

There was no rape.  He didn’t rape you.

There was no sexual assault.   He didn’t touch you.

(I didn’t say it in those words but that is what I was driving at).     Some got it.  One guy in particular attacked me in private messaging for a few days over this, and every-time time I asked him how my actions rape culture, all he could say was that I was blaming the victim.

“What victim?”, I asked.

“Your an idiot”, he said.

“How was she a victim?”, I asked.

“You just don’t understand the nuances.”. he said.

“I’m trying but you wont’ answer my questions so I can learn.” I said.

“You aren’t asking question, you are blaming her.”, he said again.

“I never blamed her, I agreed with her original actions to tell him off and block him.  You still haven’t answered my question.  Who is the victim?  She wasn’t raped, she wasn’t sexually assaulted. So who was victimized?”.

“I’m done, good-bye.”  He said.    This point he blocked me.

Even the people on this “rape culture” bandwagon can’t answer direct questions or even agree on what the myth is.   It’s grown in so many ways to the point of maniacal hysteria.

Let’s look at the Cosby situation.   

Here is a guy who over the years has developed a reputation of being the clean cut father figure.   However, we know he was an actor and a comedian.

Now, a woman who wrote a book over 20 years ago, comes forward to push her book by using a small part of the book were she insinuates that she was sexual assaulted by Cosby but has no actual proof.    She never reported it to police, instead she sued Cosby and it was settled out of court for some long forgotten sum of money.    Everyone seems to not look at that.   Now that he rehashed all this, her book sales are going through the roof.

Now bring in the other women.   All state this happened twenty some odd years ago.  None, and I mean none, can remember details and some even admit to being drunk or assume they were drugged. (Again, no proof).  You have all these women claiming sexual assault but none can provide accurate details or offer evidence that they ever met him in person.

In this media frenzy, we see groups gathering to protest his shows, trying to turn others against him.   The rich and famous of course are putting their two cents in.  Everyone is ignoring a few things.

A victim has two responsibilities.  (Ah yes I know, according to feminists, I am promoting rape culture with this statement, it doesn’t make it untrue though),

Those responsibilities are simple.   The first is the victim has to report the crime.  After all, how is the police supposed to investigate and charge someone with sexual assault or rape if they are not told about it?

The second responsibility is to seek help, to learn how to cope and move forward in their lives.   Support groups, mental health etc.

None, and I mean, none of these women ever did any of the first responsibility.  As for the second, no one is talking about it.

According to the feminists that are on the Myth bandwagon, we should accept a woman’s word as law when it comes to rape and sexual assault.  If they say a guy sexually assaulted them, then they did.    No evidence, no investigation needed.

That’s were I have a problem.    Many women already claim sexual assault and rape when none has occurred.  They do this to get revenge on someone.  Usually an ex-boyfriend or some guy they think has spurned them.   This has happened to a couple of friends in my past who got a knock on the door from police, and later was found innocent or the charges got dropped for lack of evidence or the evidence didn’t match the statements of the women etc.

To live in a free country means that you are innocent until proven guilty in a court of law, by way of facts backed by evidence.  (At least in a criminal court).   And as such, under those rules, Cosby is in fact innocent.   There was never any charges laid, nor any investigation launched.    And the time to press charges is long past their statute of limitation.  Even if there was no limitation, the women can’t even recall details or offer evidence as proof.   Yet we have people who jump on these bandwagons, supporting these accusations simply because the people citing them, simply because the persons making these claims have a vagina.

The Distinction:

Rape is the act of unwanted penetration

Sexual assault is an unwanted sexual touch.

According to the Myth of Rape culture the following is the support and promotion of it.

Asking a woman out on a date.

Asking a women if she wants to have sex.

Whistling at a women who you are attracted to.

Complimenting a woman in any way.

Talking about a woman, about her appearance,  attitudes, fashion choices, etc.
Let’s remove social media out of the picture.  Let’s put in the old fashioned method of meeting people.  The bar.

You walk up to a pretty woman in a bar, introduce yourself, compliment her smile, hair etc.  Things are going well and you get up and dance.  As your confidence builds you put your hand on her butt.   She grimaces for a second when you don’t aren’t looking at her but then smiles at you, and you bump and grind on the dance floor.   After a couple of hours and a few drinks later, you go back to her place or yours.  Have sex and the next day one of you does the walk of shame.

According to the myth rape culture occurred.   Can you spot it?   It was when she grimaced at the touch.  According to the myth, you just sexually assaulted her.   She has zero responsibility according to the myth to tell you she didn’t want her butt touched.

Another scenario in a bar:

You see a beautiful woman at the bar, you walk up and introduce yourself, you have a conversation, for about two hours and she then admits she isn’t interested in you.   You get upset, and tell her off and walk away.

According to the myth this is rape culture.   Men are not allowed to have feelings when being rejected by women.  According to the myth, a man just has to accept it and move on. No feelings required.

As men, we know, that anytime a woman says No.  It means no.   If a man gets upset and states it, then we are apparently promoting this myth.

This is why I call it a myth.  It is used for almost anything that a women disagrees with when it comes to social interactions with men, and there are no hints or even clear rules.  If a woman says no, then you can then be accused of this rape culture myth.   If the woman says yes, then everything is fine.