(Original article here: http://www.thefrisky.com/2014-09-26/8-reasons-why-feminism-isnt-anti-male/ )
I ran across this article this morning and laughed at the total illogical and lies the article spewed forth in it’s listing of the reasons why feminists are not anti-feminist.
So here is my response to this idiot author named Tiffanie Drayton . The author tries to reference Emma Watson’s idiotic speech to the UN council and mentions Patriarchy affecting men and women negatively (that’s a new one). But I’ll skip over her opener because that isn’t the list she talks about.
1. It is in no way hateful to strive to help someone carry the financial and economic burdens of a family. Patriarchal society has long made money-making the “job” of the man, even to the detriment of his own mental and physical health. For many of us, our financial predicament depends not only on how hard we work, but also upon numerous other factors like the global and even national economic climate. It is extremely burdensome to put all financial responsibilities of a household upon the shoulders of a single person — nearly impossible, even — especially during harsh economic downturns like the Great Depression and the 2008 crisis. Men are always more likely to commit suicide than women, but during the worst economic times, that gap widens with men committing suicide at 2-4 times the rate of their female counterparts. A 2014 study published in the British Journal of Psychiatry, “Economic Suicides in the Great Recession in Europe and North America,” noted that suicide rates increased for people who experienced foreclosure, unemployment or were in debt. Financial and economic burdens are onerous and even dangerous — feminists know even men need help carrying the load.
Actually historically speaking, both men and women worked to make money for the household income. Only the higher classes like middle and wealthy could afford to have the woman of the house not work outside the home. And in the home the woman made all decisions and ran the household. Down to the hiring, firing and managing the servants. In poor households, both men and women split the work equal, doing jobs that each were suited to do. Nothing has changed within that regard to today. If anything even men who are the main breadwinners of a household will actually contribute to the house work and work outside the home to help alleviate the burden on his wife or loved one, which increases the direct burden on him after working 44 plus hours in a week.
And yes I agree with the sentiment that money is a huge factor is suicides. It is also a big factor on divorce.
However the last sentence shows me that she doesn’t understand feminism. Feminists don’t want the responsibility of helping the male. Many keep their finances separate from the household income to ensure they have a nest egg for themselves. Finances in a house is a complex issue and to be honest most of what she says in this statement is essentially correct, with only a few minor things wrong. So I will move on to the next one.
2. Less gender binaries means more fun for everyone! In a culture riddled with extreme gender binaries, women can’t play sports or even laugh too loud and men can’t cuddle babies or cute, tiny animals. That is one heck of a boring existence. As society widens the definition of “manhood” and “womanhood,” more individuals are free to participate in activities that are typically gendered and restricted to only one group or the other. That means a man can feel equally comfortable baking a cake (a traditionally “feminine” role) as he would playing football and a woman can change a flat tire while wearing high heels. The dedication of past feminists has already helped shape our current society, where “Cake Boss,” a man who loves to bake cakes, is a celebrity and Danica Patrick, the first woman to win the NASCAR Sprint Cup, participates in a long-time male-dominated sport.
Okay women have always been able to play sports. The idea that they couldn’t is moronic. However, she is confusing (like most feminists), the idea of not being allowed to play sports with compete with men in sports. The reason we have men’s leagues and women’s leagues in sports is due to fact women cannot compete with men in physical sports like football, basketball, hockey, baseball, boxing, etc. All these sports require a level of fitness that if they compete with men, they will lose. Every single time. Women are just built differently than men and they need to accept that.
The next part of the statement that “men should feel comfortable baking a cake” – Men in general throughout history have been the cooks, chefs and bakers. Traditionally they have even taken turns cooking in the home as well. As for the flat tire comment, most women are not interested in car maintenance and would rather pay someone else to change their tire or oil. All you have to do is look at shop classes in high schools and count the girls in the classes. Generally men are more interested in the dirty work than women are.
Cake Boss was not created by feminists. That sentence is laughable on it’s face. The guy became what he is today from hard work, and learning from his FATHER how to bake cakes and run a business, and if you watch the show his sisters can’t decorate or bake worth a damn and that’s why they handle the customers. That isn’t feminism, that is a family run business, and the jobs are dictated by skill not gender.
. Feminism gives little boys the chance to be children first, and boys second. Feminists know and understand that both boys and girls have every right to be angry, frustrated, happy and even sad or empathetic: In other words, human. However, emotions that are typically classified as “feminine,” like nurturing, caring, sympathetic or sadness, are usually disallowed from boyhood expression. Statements like “boys don’t cry” and “be a man” further reinforce the idea that men and boys cannot and should not exhibit basic emotions — a very debilitating and even immature concept. Boys and men are human, not robotic, emotionless androids. Feminism seeks to help society get over that fact.
Now here again is something that a feminist is taking credit for, when in reality, little boys have always been allowed to cry or be kids. And in fact when you look at who is the primary caregivers in any given household you will find it is the woman, and if she works, the daycare worker who is most likely going to be a woman. And a study was done a few years back that found that a child will be hit by the female caregiver 900 times in a year. Since we know that women have primary care on the first 4 years of that child, that means they are beating on average 3600 times the child. And this happens when the child cries or gets angry or shows emotion.
“Boys don’t cry” is saying from slavery. When male slaves were referred to as Boy and got a worst punishment if they cried. Has nothing to do with gender.
“Be a man” is a saying that means “Be responsible” It comes from the time, when men were 100% responsible financially responsible for their family. So if their child broke a window playing ball, the father had to be a man and pay for that window.
The first term was from racism, and the second wasn’t derogatory. While the first one did indeed restrict public emotions, the second doesn’t. Society doesn’t need feminism to get over showing emotions. In fact I know many men who do and feminists laugh and berate them and even hit them when they do. See next image for example of a feminist who likes men showing emotion:
4. Feminism has given men the freedom to be fathers. In the past, many children longed for a male figure in the house, but men were frequently absent because of their role as the breadwinner. With women confined to the domestic space — along with the children — and men locked outside in the working world, it was very difficult for strong bonds to be built between child and father.
Now, many working women are capable of supporting a household or are at least able to contribute financially, allowing men to spend more time with their children and less time working. Crucial bonds that have long been absent from Western culture are being forged between father and child in a modern, post-feminist society.
This statement is an outright lie and I call Bullshit on this. Men have always been fathers to their children and feminism never gave men this. In fact in poor households, with the men working as well as the women the kids had equal time with both parents. As a family.
In today’s society, with the high divorce rates, women are being awarded custody of the children in the majority of divorces. Many of those men only get to see their children one weekend a month (if they are lucky) and rotating holidays. And that is with joint custody. That doesn’t allow much time for fathers to be with their children, or be fathers. Feminism did this. Not only that but the women demand support payments and alimony from the ex husband and the home and the car and usually gets those as well in most divorces. This forces the man to pay for the wife, children and to pay HER Bills while allowing her to keep her money and spend it as she wishes without the responsibility of spending that on her children.
This is one of the main causes why men end up in jail, because in a marriage if a person’s financial situation changes the house finances are adjusted to suit that change. After a divorce settlement, if a man loses his job he is still expected to pay these costs or end up in jail. This is another reason why we are seeing more men homeless and broke. And as well others fleeing the country to avoid the prohibitive costs set by the courts, on behest of the woman.
In the rare cases where the father gets custody, the women at most is expected to pay a small amount in support and very rarely alimony to support the husband, simply because men are usually the bigger bread winners and it’s rare to find a woman who makes more money in her chosen field.
And not only that but women will get paid by the state, if she is a single mother and no father listed on the birth certificate. In other words the mother has no idea who the father is so the state becomes the father. As long as she has that kid, then the government will pay her for it. Now granted a man will get that same treatment if they have custody and the mother isn’t in the picture but that is extremely rare.
5. Feminism helps to make straight sex better and healthier. The impact of societal policing of female sexuality affects everyone, including the men who women are sleeping with. Many women must deal with debilitating feelings of guilt, shame and anxiety induced by patriarchy’s constant need to dominate and diminish female minds and bodies, which ultimately has negative effects on their sexual self-esteem. Feminism has fought to create safe spaces where women can engage in discourse about sex and their personal experiences. This not only helps women to better understand their minds and bodies, but it also enables the exploration of sexual desire and gives them the confidence to speak openly to their partners. Better communication and understanding is helpful in all relationships, especially sexual ones.
This is rich. We are a dimorphic species. That means there are inherent, instinctual things that males and females do differently. This has to do with our evolution of our genders. In order to ensure men’s genetics were passed on, the males would attempt to impregnate as many females as possible. The more females, the more virile the man appears and the more attractive the male was to females. Women however, evolved slightly different. Due to the chance of death in childbirth and complications during pregnancy, women had to be more careful on choosing a mate.
This is why men to this day seem to be more like sexual beings who are out to sleep with as many women as possible, while women feel guilt over sleeping with many men. This is a type of built in evolutionary trait that is built within each gender.
As for the safe spaces comment .. I say FUCK YOU FEMINISM. Men are not allowed to have men only safe spaces. You protest and screech at the mention of men only places. So BULLSHIT on that statement. As for confidence in speaking to their spouses. If you lack the confidence, then maybe you need get some mental health professional to help you with that. Confidence comes from within and is not a gender trait in any way shape or form. That is a trait that is learned. If all your hearing is men are rapists, men are violent and men are evil, then yes, women will have confidence issues when speaking with men, including any boyfriends or husbands. That is the fault of FEMINISM, not men.
7. Feminism helps society care about things that affect the women men care about. Birth control, women’s reproductive health, the right to vote, access to education and employment are just some of the issues feminism has tackled. Feminists have also worked to protect women and girls from domestic violence, sexual harassment and sexual assault. Without the movement, the women who men love — daughters, mothers, sisters, friends, girlfriends, wives — would be voiceless and without legal or social protection.
No one has ever said men didn’t care about women or women’s issues. Which is why your movement had garnered such huge support. However, I notice you don’t include abuse shelters for abused men, or right to fatherhood for men, or sexual harassment against men, or sexual assault against men in your statement. You know, the problems that have gotten progressively worse since feminists have gotten their way? And women, have never been voiceless. They have ALWAYS had support in law against the crimes you list. Women however, get away with these crimes more than men and men suffer as a result, which helps contribute to the suicide rates and homelessness of men.
8. Improvement for women and girls equals improvement for everyone. Multiple studies on the socioeconomic impact of education on society have found that increases in female education attainment leads to higher levels of both economic and social development. Countries that focus on educating women and girls tend experience decreased infertility and infant mortality rates and increased GDPs. As best said by the World Bank’s lead education economist, Harry Patrinos, “the profitability of education, according to estimates of private rate of return, is indisputable, universal and global.” A study done by Cynthia Lloyd and Margaret Greene, (Girls Count: A Global Investment and Action Agenda) with just one extra year of education to women and girls, their wages increased from 10-20 percent. These improvements benefit not only females, but also their families and society as a whole since money is typically reinvested (in the form of purchases) into the community.
Citation needed. No actually statistics show that women are becoming more violent and men are opting out of marriage more. Education is geared to get women into university into stem fields but women are not CHOOSING those fields. Instead they choose courses that are easier and help them get careers in jobs that allow them the flexibility of scheduling and safety, over those that men get into which take them away from family more and are more dangerous to make more money.
In fact, less men are able to attend university due the fact they get no financial incentives or free rides. Women get grants, loans and many other incentives to get into college and university. That isn’t improvement. It is oppression.
In closing I’m going to say this. Feminists are fucking idiots, with no concept that they are harming men, and women with their viewpoints and beliefs. In no way shape or form is the oppression of men’s rights equality.